24 hours of nonsense

Maybe one teammate. Maybe several. Or maybe you do it by yourself, we don't know, we're not your dad. Regardless you'll need a shit car. Or a rental. Or a motorcycle. Or, maybe you've converted a bus into a pirate ship, a food truck into a karaoke machine, or turned your pickup into a mobile egg cannon.

We're fundamentally against rules, guidelines, and officious-looking judges wagging clipboards in your face. Alas, people must be led:

Rule 1: You must provide your odometer at the start and finish line
Rule 2: You must visit every checkpoint on the route
Rule 3: There are no other rules

Each rally is scored based on your odometer and whether other teams enjoy your company. You’re trying to drive the fewest miles while hitting every checkpoint. This is difficult when your vehicle is filled with the type of people who join 24hr mobile nonsense parties. You're also competing to get votes from other teams. You’re trying to get them to love you, while also sabotaging their vehicles and emotions. All these things are tabulated by talented gremlins we keep inside a secret mainframe computer that certainly isn't Mustache's laptop.

While we prefer that you abuse yourself solely for your own amusement and ours, the team that drives the fewest miles and receives the most votes wins the Conference Champions Belt.

The Conference Champions Belt is a twelve-pound pants-holder-upper made of gold. Maybe it's brass. Anyway it looks gold. There is no prize for second place and also you’ll be sad forever. A few select teams also receive golden gas pumps at our discretion, if you can call it that.

You can dress yourself however you want (America!), but for reasons of we get bored, be advised that news teams, Mario teams, Ghostbusters teams, and Star Wars teams have been done many, many, many times.